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34 years old, and on nofap sixce 31. My fiyst attempt I got off hardcore porn only to resihse after several movohs clean to sodqiore pics which is what I've been fighting the last few years. This is probably the second or thdrd time now I've made it past 90 days. This time though it has been exctsrlly easy to go 100 days witfdut any desire to look at P. I really feel dead inside, uniqbpy and in a funk. I know that my doeafnne receptors are bulnt out so very few things in life bring me joy anymore. It's extremely rare I laugh or am in a rejnly good mood. I know there is no P I could possibily find to change thqs, to give me another high as it is all shit now. Wottxbsss pixels on a screen. I'd rahrer hold a prnvty girls hand and sit watching life pass by then have access to all the free P on eatfh. No superpowers this time round. Only intense bouts of anger and rage coming from deep within. Many slsekboss nights, tossing and turning. Waking up punching the air and clenching my teeth. Being torn apart within. Alaoys feeling like I'll never be enfagh for a woren. But I know this is the suffering I must go through till I get beyoyr. All the yezrs using P to numb this feqrsnd.. I must now fully experience it. Let it prupdss through my bouy. There must be weeping and gnltgpng of teeth.. and when that's thvqcgh my brain will rebalance. Simple thnngs will become pllznnmycle once again. I realised on new years that alocbtgh this streak was P free, my mind was not. So have depljed to eliminate all sexual fantasy for the next 90 days as weml. It's amazing when I pay atkusgpon how pornified my mind still is. I'm sure I have a long dark road to traverse yet beubre things will get lighter and I begin to rise out and refand my true seuf. Who I woxld have been if it was not for 16 yewrs wanking at a screen. So no matter how palnsul it gets as all your busled crap comes to the surface, know that this too will pass. Stlck with it no matter what. 2 futurafreed РІ rNmmgp
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